Introducing… Ill-Behaved Women
Because well-behaved women seldom make me want to sit up and read.
History is already littered with the untold stories of women.
As a grandma with 27 years sober who — according to my yoga students — gives off an Olivia Newton John vibe, I claim “Ill-Behaved” as a lover of good stories by, for, and about women. My plan for this space is to offer up — against the rising tides of social and political climate change — stories that matter now. Paid subscribers get access to my live quarterly workshops and the full archive. (Click here to subscribe.)
In this post I’ll tell you:
The origin story
Why I do this
What ‘this’ looks like for you (or, a story that matters now)
What you can expect going forward
The origin story
When I started this Substack in 2021, the focus was on creating in spite of and through life drama. Be careful what you focus on.
Since then, my dad had a seizure, I terminated the deal for my second memoir, I gave up on the book and wrote a novel, my dad died, my step-daughter gave me the grandchild I’ve long-wanted, and that second memoir, Blissful Thinking, actually came out.
The thing is, that emotional roller-coaster has not been unique to me. Post-Covid, we’re all battle scarred, and living in a different world. I wasn’t sure I had it in me to go back to that narrative because I wanted to move forward creatively. Then again…
It’s harder than ever to get mental health support, while the internet is accessible 24/7. Meanwhile, wellness claims grow ever more fantastical. Unlike television, which is at least regulated by the FCC, internet gurus aren’t beholden to their promises by, well, anyone. You could literally market a plastic card as a grounding device/cure for low testosterone, put a price tag of $145 on it, and no one could stop you.
Oh wait, someone did…
This is why I persisted in getting Blissful Thinking into the world, though didn’t want to lose momentum on the novel, Florida Girls. But there was no ignoring the massive proliferation of wellness influencers, the exact sort I’d avoided falling prey to in the book. If the healthy level of skepticism in my story could help even one person re-evaluate inflated wellness claims, getting the book out felt worth doing. Just like now feels like a good time to evolve this newsletter.
First, the name change. From Notable to Ill-Behaved Women. If there’s one thing my memoirs have in common with the historical fiction I’m now writing, it’s showing how women subvert expectations.
Why I do this
I’m not immune either.
What ‘this’ looks like (or, a story that matters now)
Despite working in sellevision, when video came to Instagram and my feed was flooded with moving pictures, I got sucked right in. I’d watch and think, Yes! I do need to repair that crack in my tub! Restore luster to that old handbag! Get a suction-thingy to hold my phone in place in my car!
Okay, the tub thing kinda sorta worked. Everything else? Major fails.
Next up were the transformational beauty products. One minute, the model looked like she’d just rolled out of bed. The next, voilá! Transformed! I’m not sure how much I bought before I remembered, er, that’s just how makeup works.
The joke felt too obvious when I started seeing ads that showed, for instance, “problem” skin and then “fixed” the problem, but used a totally different model.
Then came those Little House on the Prairie dresses. I was completely skeeved at how the regressive trend coincided with regressive politics.
Mercifully this fashion statement has made way for the messy house phenomenon. But still. The planet is on fire. Women’s rights are still eroding. And we have a rapist for a presidential front runner. Again.
As I evaluated the pivot from memoir to fiction and how to evolve my newsletter into something useful I thought, Inspiration is nice, but is it enough?
The new emphasis will be on looking at what are acceptable cultural “norms” while putting them in context. I’ll also tell the stories of people and books and films working against type, so the inspo is still there. I can’t help it, I’m a born advocate. Though I’ve been thinking about this move for a while, I was spurred to action by this ad that popped into my feed recently.
What was it? A girdle? Modified corset? A slouch corrector? Yes! But the company is billing mainly as a posture corrector.
The website also advertises these undies as “Posture Hip Shapers.”
While this undergarment may indeed smoosh the buttocks into currently acceptable fashion, I can guarantee you it’s not doing anything for your posture. (They don’t really pretend to either, that promise is in the name only.) Or maybe, as with bustles of yore, the appearance of a perkier bottom is the posture improvement.
It’s worth noting, as this Washington Post piece does, claims that better posture equals better health are generally inflated. Movement and variety do more to alleviate pain. Besides, posture claims are still squarely in the realm of corsets.
Garments meant to change natural body shapes have been going in and out of style since 1600 BCE. Corsets reached peak consumption during the Victorian era, when advances in manufacturing made the aristocratic silhouettes more accessible to the masses. Not coincidentally perhaps, the suffrage movement was born during this time, giving rise to dress reformists like Elizabeth Phelps Ward (a writer married to a man 17 years her junior) who wrote in 1873, “Burn up the corsets!”
It took a while to catch, but with the advent of fashions by Coco Chanel in the early 20th century, women’s fashions were forever changed. Not that corsets disappeared. Runway fashion has never bothered with practicality, and Madonna famously wore a Jean-Paul Gaultier corset on her 1990 Blonde Ambition tour. But they rarely made their way off burlesque stages.
Then in 2019, Bridgerton came along, and we started seeing corsets making their way into the mainstream again. They’ve got better messaging this time around. Speaking of her 2024 bodice-heavy collection, Stella McCartney recently told Vogue:
“Chanel’s idea of freeing people from their corsets was based on Victoriana, which was traumatic and horrific, and I don’t think corsets are like that for women anymore. It’s in need of modernizing, that conversation. It’s about embracing a corset because you want to wear it and it’s not underneath 25 layers of fucking crinoline… It’s about having a group of people around you, who allow you to be yourself. There’s something about this wardrobe that supports you and brings out the best in you.”
I’m glad to live in this latter era, even if ads like the one above make me cringe. Though I’m not opposed to holding jigglies in place—I wear bras, and if I’d thought to I would’ve put a shaper on under the holiday dress I wore the other day. Still, I’m with Chanel who famously said, “Nothing is more beautiful than freedom of the body.”
And yet, if your body feels its best in a corset, so be it.
Have you seen any products advertised lately that make you wonder if you’ve been blasted into the past?
What to expect going forward
The newsletter will come out every other Wednesday. Posts will alternate between:
Stories about the history we’re making right now, like this piece about The Golden Bachelor, apocalypse housewifery, and my disbelief at SATC’s second act.*
And:
Craft tips and pep talks for all creatives, like setting and its metaphorical role in shaping our reality, and creating a year-end inventory.
*This will include pieces like the one above as well as:
Behind-the-scenes looks at my works-in-progress, like this.
Curated lists of memes/books/movies/stories inspiring me right now, something like this but focusing on one thing.
Paid Subscribers
Paid subscribers will get my course, Unlock Your Story in 5 Days, a free copy of my ebook, How to Tell a Story, and full access to the archive of posts and workshops, like this one on getting your narrative unstuck.
No matter how you got here, or why, thank you for reading. It really is our last and best defense.
Loooove this new name and you branching out into fiction! Can't wait to read more!
Thank you for sharing!