I accidentally ended up on a 3-day Vipassana retreat in Thailand when I was 23 - long story, but to sum it up quickly, an overcrowded ferry, nothing booked, a random interaction with a guy who was going to one, a "meh, why not, how bad could it be", and an hour later I was on a wooden plank of a dorm bed with no mattress, no pillow, gearing myself up for three days of silence.
It actually ended up being one of the best things I've done, but honestly, if I'd had more time to think about it I don't think I would've gone. I'd lost my best friend a few years before and was still a total mess (at this point I'd packed up my whole life, booked a one way ticket to SE Asia and was a year into what would be a 10+ year journey), but fortunately it all worked out for the best.
Honestly, though, I think it's really important to talk about the places that these things can take you to, and the fact that we all carry so much trauma and a lot of it is buried deep in our subconscious. So many people in the spiritual "arena" tout things like this or psychedelics as a "fix all", but there's not really any short cut to actually doing the work, and any short cuts you try can absolutely lead to bigger problems. Turns out long cuts - like packing your life into boxes and fucking off to the other side of the world for 10 years - also lead to bigger problems, but maybe there will just always be problems, haha! Anyway, thanks for sharing. Loved this one!
I don't know how I missed this comment--! I LOVE this story. So much of what travel is like, right? Trips I purposefully took to Thailand with no bookings were THE BEST.
And yes, there WILL always be problems. But I think it's important to talk about because healing communities naturally attract us when we're IN trauma, yet so few of them are equipped to handle that. Thanks for sharing your story, now I have to read more!
So funny! Of course I prefer a human foot massage but not always available! I always say that even if massage does not ever have tons of evidence-based research behind it, it feels great (unless you're getting deep tissue of course) so I'll take it over having needles inserted in meridians. Acupressure or shiatsu also enjoyable for me.
Thanks for this! I often think that more than 5 minutes of meditation feels like a waste of time for those of us driven productivity demons. I have an electric foot massager under my desk so I can keep going while relaxing. Also look into yoga. There are many articles about the physical dangers to a subset of the population. But my 5 minutes of mediation are essential!
Ironically enough, I SELL FOOT MASSAGERS ON HSN! One of my key messages, “you can keep this under your desk.” Ha! Massage is an incredible healer, if it works for you. I love it
I love that you open up the discussion about problematic aspects of meditation.
It’s not always healthy to harbor bliss inside. I should NOT have been blissful with my abusive ex-husband, yet I was! ‘Blanking’ my mind was a form of denial.
Yes! Exactly!! All these years later, I realize my attempt was to do exactly that. It wasn’t until I stopped forcing myself to try meditating in silence that the feelings were finally able to not only simmer, but fully erupt and – to stick with this weird metaphor that just came up – bubble all the way through me.
I love that frame, there’s nothing wrong with distraction, and it’s very Zen.
And your breath comment! So interesting, because I talk about that in my book a lot. That is the constant instruction a biplane. And in my case, too, the breathing triggered me. But because I had done Watsu - an underwater massage therapy, as I’ve said, I was trying every damn thing – I thought of it more in relation to my boyfriend’s drowning. But reading your insight, that’s a strong case, too. Sigh. In all things, our experience is what we make it.
I accidentally ended up on a 3-day Vipassana retreat in Thailand when I was 23 - long story, but to sum it up quickly, an overcrowded ferry, nothing booked, a random interaction with a guy who was going to one, a "meh, why not, how bad could it be", and an hour later I was on a wooden plank of a dorm bed with no mattress, no pillow, gearing myself up for three days of silence.
It actually ended up being one of the best things I've done, but honestly, if I'd had more time to think about it I don't think I would've gone. I'd lost my best friend a few years before and was still a total mess (at this point I'd packed up my whole life, booked a one way ticket to SE Asia and was a year into what would be a 10+ year journey), but fortunately it all worked out for the best.
Honestly, though, I think it's really important to talk about the places that these things can take you to, and the fact that we all carry so much trauma and a lot of it is buried deep in our subconscious. So many people in the spiritual "arena" tout things like this or psychedelics as a "fix all", but there's not really any short cut to actually doing the work, and any short cuts you try can absolutely lead to bigger problems. Turns out long cuts - like packing your life into boxes and fucking off to the other side of the world for 10 years - also lead to bigger problems, but maybe there will just always be problems, haha! Anyway, thanks for sharing. Loved this one!
I don't know how I missed this comment--! I LOVE this story. So much of what travel is like, right? Trips I purposefully took to Thailand with no bookings were THE BEST.
And yes, there WILL always be problems. But I think it's important to talk about because healing communities naturally attract us when we're IN trauma, yet so few of them are equipped to handle that. Thanks for sharing your story, now I have to read more!
So funny! Of course I prefer a human foot massage but not always available! I always say that even if massage does not ever have tons of evidence-based research behind it, it feels great (unless you're getting deep tissue of course) so I'll take it over having needles inserted in meridians. Acupressure or shiatsu also enjoyable for me.
Thanks for this! I often think that more than 5 minutes of meditation feels like a waste of time for those of us driven productivity demons. I have an electric foot massager under my desk so I can keep going while relaxing. Also look into yoga. There are many articles about the physical dangers to a subset of the population. But my 5 minutes of mediation are essential!
Ironically enough, I SELL FOOT MASSAGERS ON HSN! One of my key messages, “you can keep this under your desk.” Ha! Massage is an incredible healer, if it works for you. I love it
I love that you open up the discussion about problematic aspects of meditation.
It’s not always healthy to harbor bliss inside. I should NOT have been blissful with my abusive ex-husband, yet I was! ‘Blanking’ my mind was a form of denial.
Yes! Exactly!! All these years later, I realize my attempt was to do exactly that. It wasn’t until I stopped forcing myself to try meditating in silence that the feelings were finally able to not only simmer, but fully erupt and – to stick with this weird metaphor that just came up – bubble all the way through me.
I love that frame, there’s nothing wrong with distraction, and it’s very Zen.
And your breath comment! So interesting, because I talk about that in my book a lot. That is the constant instruction a biplane. And in my case, too, the breathing triggered me. But because I had done Watsu - an underwater massage therapy, as I’ve said, I was trying every damn thing – I thought of it more in relation to my boyfriend’s drowning. But reading your insight, that’s a strong case, too. Sigh. In all things, our experience is what we make it.
Learning self-compassion was/is one of the most eye-opening elements of practice. I'm impressed you manage to do it with everything you have going on.