Thank you so much for re-sharing this article. I felt the urge to highlight, like I do when I'm reading in the Libby or Kindle app. Congrats on how you've advocated for yourself over the years.
Every month is dry now for me since I stopped drinking in 2018. I don't deserve any congrats for that. I don't think I was ever addicted to alcohol per se; moreso the social aspect; the habit. I'll be honest with you here, and this sounds very egotistical and shallow, but it is what it is: I broke my ankle (non-drinking-related) and was facing several weeks on crutches. I didn't want to risk a fall during that time, so I stopped drinking. No biggie. But when I saw the effect on the scale from cutting out those empty calories, I was sold on sobriety! I know, not exactly the testimony to impress at an AA meeting. I realize so many others have had horrific struggles trying to quit. My grandfathers on both sides were alcoholics and destroyed their families. My piddly little sobriety story makes me feel sheepish.
Anyway - just wanted to say one of my highlights in your story would've been about how small things impact our lives in big ways. I would say the one I think of the most is the conversation I had with my grad school prof a million years ago and he pointed out how many world religions have very similar origin stories - sky daddies, virgin births, savior myths, etc. Wowza. The scales fell from this naive Southern Baptist gal's eyes, and I've been an atheist ever since.
Oh, thank you! I feel the same when I'm reading on here too sometimes, and recently discovered the "restack" option that comes up when you do highlight text, which then shares it as a note so at least I have a record! Also, if it's not too icky to say -- I think you'd like my memoir Blissful Thinking. TBH, I was expecting more backlash from people about the spiritual atheistic journey, but then, you can't predict what people respond to!
As for why not to drink -- excellent reason! I mean it! It really is terrible for the health, especially as the birthdays mount.
"...random, everyday moments like a casual comment over pad Thai can drive me to question everything I think I know." Exactly. One day at my job waiting tables at the IHOP, a co-worker was telling us he was going to cut down on his hours and start taking classes at the community college. I envied him and said I wished I could go but I had to work full-time and I had a kid so I couldn't. An older waitress overheard us, popped her head into our little huddle and said, "Where there's a will, there's a way"
I was startled but thought it must be true. My next day off I pedaled over to the college (in the Miami heat) and found out I qualified for financial aid and child care assistance. I got registered and started attending classes. I was still working full-time, on my own with a small child and only a bicycle for transportation and for two years I worked or went to school every single day. It took 5 years instead of 4 but I graduated and got my degree. All because of seven words spoken by a coworker.
Wow that’s incredible. Did she ever know? Someone recently wrote me to say I talk I gave 30 years ago was pivotal in their getting sober years later and I was astonished, and surprised he’d never said! But glad he finally did.
I agree, a person needs to know what they're working with and more often than not it's more than one thing. AND, I've been fortunate to even be able to use my various diagnoses as a tool. I don't think they're all accurate all the time. There's a sausage factory of - evaluate, medicate, evacuate. We have to be our own advocates, which is tricky in this area but who is more invested? I suppose I'm glad I've finally leaned in to appreciating the way my mind works. Hard won.
Thank you so much for re-sharing this article. I felt the urge to highlight, like I do when I'm reading in the Libby or Kindle app. Congrats on how you've advocated for yourself over the years.
Every month is dry now for me since I stopped drinking in 2018. I don't deserve any congrats for that. I don't think I was ever addicted to alcohol per se; moreso the social aspect; the habit. I'll be honest with you here, and this sounds very egotistical and shallow, but it is what it is: I broke my ankle (non-drinking-related) and was facing several weeks on crutches. I didn't want to risk a fall during that time, so I stopped drinking. No biggie. But when I saw the effect on the scale from cutting out those empty calories, I was sold on sobriety! I know, not exactly the testimony to impress at an AA meeting. I realize so many others have had horrific struggles trying to quit. My grandfathers on both sides were alcoholics and destroyed their families. My piddly little sobriety story makes me feel sheepish.
Anyway - just wanted to say one of my highlights in your story would've been about how small things impact our lives in big ways. I would say the one I think of the most is the conversation I had with my grad school prof a million years ago and he pointed out how many world religions have very similar origin stories - sky daddies, virgin births, savior myths, etc. Wowza. The scales fell from this naive Southern Baptist gal's eyes, and I've been an atheist ever since.
Thanks again for sharing your story.
Oh, thank you! I feel the same when I'm reading on here too sometimes, and recently discovered the "restack" option that comes up when you do highlight text, which then shares it as a note so at least I have a record! Also, if it's not too icky to say -- I think you'd like my memoir Blissful Thinking. TBH, I was expecting more backlash from people about the spiritual atheistic journey, but then, you can't predict what people respond to!
As for why not to drink -- excellent reason! I mean it! It really is terrible for the health, especially as the birthdays mount.
Ha yes I hope my poor liver is thanking me!
I’m sure it is
No. I mean she knew I started but we didn't stay in touch for long. I had to change jobs often to accommodate my school schedule...
"...random, everyday moments like a casual comment over pad Thai can drive me to question everything I think I know." Exactly. One day at my job waiting tables at the IHOP, a co-worker was telling us he was going to cut down on his hours and start taking classes at the community college. I envied him and said I wished I could go but I had to work full-time and I had a kid so I couldn't. An older waitress overheard us, popped her head into our little huddle and said, "Where there's a will, there's a way"
I was startled but thought it must be true. My next day off I pedaled over to the college (in the Miami heat) and found out I qualified for financial aid and child care assistance. I got registered and started attending classes. I was still working full-time, on my own with a small child and only a bicycle for transportation and for two years I worked or went to school every single day. It took 5 years instead of 4 but I graduated and got my degree. All because of seven words spoken by a coworker.
Wow that’s incredible. Did she ever know? Someone recently wrote me to say I talk I gave 30 years ago was pivotal in their getting sober years later and I was astonished, and surprised he’d never said! But glad he finally did.
I am moved and thinking about the proper way to respond. Thank you for sharing.
I agree, a person needs to know what they're working with and more often than not it's more than one thing. AND, I've been fortunate to even be able to use my various diagnoses as a tool. I don't think they're all accurate all the time. There's a sausage factory of - evaluate, medicate, evacuate. We have to be our own advocates, which is tricky in this area but who is more invested? I suppose I'm glad I've finally leaned in to appreciating the way my mind works. Hard won.