The Gloriously Ill-Behaved: Gisèle Pelicot, Blake Lively and Jamie Lee Curtis
Three bright spots in an otherwise dark winter
Hello, my Ill-Behaved readers. For the new subscribers, welcome!
I'm L.L. Kirchner, author of the Queenpin Chronicles, a historical fiction series. I'm also a journalist, which means my nerdy love for history is firmly based in the present and how it impacts our lives in the here and now. Ill-Behaved Women is the space where I look at women making history now.
First up, the latest book is OUT! Book 2 of The Queenpin Chronicles, Vegas Girls, has just launched. Picking up where Florida Girls left off, the book follows Thelma Miles on her quest for revenge. To pull off her con, she assembles a team of unlikely allies, the starlet with secrets of her own, the relentless reporter, and her former boss, who’s pregnant. But first she must decide if family loyalty is worth the price of her soul.
To launch this book in style (and kick away post-holiday doldrums), both books on are sale. But this week only. Check them out:
I’ll also be at several events where, if you’re nearby, I would love to see you!
On January 26, TAMPA BAY GIRLS BOOK CLUB featured author, discussing Florida Girls
January 29, featured author, Tarpon Springs Book Fair
February 1, Sunshine State Book Festival in Gainesville
February 6, Palm Harbor Library in conversation with Eliza Knight discussing VEGAS GIRLS, courtesy of The Gilded Page Bookstore
With that out of the way, here are the three women who have taken one look at the rules designed to keep them small and said, Nope.
Refusing to Accept Someone Else’s Shame: Gisèle Pelicot's Revolution
I trust you’ve already heard of Gisèle Pelicot, the 72-year-old French grandmother who discovered she'd been drugged and raped by her husband and dozens of other men that he invited to their home between 2011 and 2020. If not, you can read all the details here (gift link).
What’s remarkable about this story is that Pelicot insisted on having a public trial. In so doing, she wanted to make it possible for other women to recognize the signs she missed.
The norm would have been to stay anonymous, as if it is the victim who should be ashamed in this scenario. But hiding yourself is how the shame perpetuates. Hide your face, carry their shame.
Her courage in coming forward has helped curb the stigma and empowered survivors of sexual assault across the globe. It was also vindicated by the court’s response, which was to hand down fifty-one convictions. Including her ex-husband, who got the maximum sentence of 20 years.
But this is not the norm. According to RAINN, out of every 1,000 rape cases, 975 perpetrators do not go to jail. And the vast majority are not reported.
That expectation for a lack of consequences persists. Of the 49 men who were convicted of raping or sexually assaulting Pelicot, 17 are appealing on grounds that they were manipulated by her husband. They claim they believed the unconscious woman in the bed had consented.
For those in the back, consent does NOT look like an unconscious person. This was not new information in 2011 either. Nor was it in 1984, when I was raped while unconscious.
When the trial first concluded, Pelicot had indicated that after months of public scrutiny she was ready to step away from the spotlight. In light of these appeals however, she’s said she’ll face her perpetrators again.
I hope it’s as effective, because I believe the case itself exemplifies why none of these men should be exonerated. Back in 2010, Dominique Pelicot, the husband, was taken into custody after he was discovered "up skirting" women, or, taking pictures under their dresses. He was fined €100 and kept the incident a secret. His behavior got worse. The secrecy is part of the sickness, which again is why Gisèle Pelicot’s actions are so admirable.
The hopeful note to this story is in the thousands of women across France and across the globe who came out in support of Pelicot, many survivors themselves, chipping away at shame in favor of hope. That's what happens when one woman's courage breaks open the dam of silence.
Anything but Quiet: Blake Lively Takes the Power Back
The feud between Blake Lively and Justin Baldoni has been held in the open, but they’re saying the things that usually go unsaid.
Baldoni is behind the production company Wayfarer, which got the rights to Colleen Hoover's novel, It Ends With Us, a novel about standing up to abusive men.
Not long after filming began, Lively, the film’s star, began speaking up about sexual harassment and boundary violations on set. She didn't merely voice her objections, she wrote memos documenting her allegations.
In the memos, Lively alleges that Baldoni showed her nude videos of women, walked into her trailer while she was undressed, and added gratuitous sex scenes to the film. Another actor, say someone without Lively's Hollywood heft, could have felt trapped in that situation. But not Lively. She demanded protection. She brought in an intimacy coordinator. And she took creative control of the final cut, which I’ll get back to.
Because this story does not end there.
Next, Baldoni’s team hired a crisis PR firm to "bury" Lively. They tried to paint her as difficult, as a bully, as tone-deaf. They used social media manipulation to turn public opinion against her. Stunningly, the case files include text messages that clearly demonstrate their tactics and plans for implementation of their smear campaign. In other words, they knowingly weaponized the public's tendency to disbelieve women.
What do I mean by that? In one text, publicist Melissa Nathan wrote: “Narrative is CRAZY good… The majority of socials are so pro Justin and I don’t even agree with half of them lol”
LOL?
There is a special place in hell for publicists like Melissa Nathan, who gleefully protect hideous men by plotting to destroy women.
Actually, hell may be too good for her. She also represented Johnny Depp.
In the final twist of this screw, as this was happening, Baldoni was busy positioning himself as a feminist ally. He even won an award for women’s advocacy.
Mercifully, common sense prevailed and the Voices of Solidarity Award he was given by Vital Voices for "elevating women" was rescinded.
Now the lawsuits are flying. Lively has filed a couple, the PR firm has filed, and now, so has Baldoni. Let’s all hope the courts continue to vindicate. If nothing else, Lively’s proactive response shines a light on the options for younger actors coming up, letting them know that they don't have to accept that kind of behavior. Most will not be besties with Taylor Swift and thus able to include one of her songs in their own cut of the film, but again, Lively has chipped away at public ideas about so-called difficult women by not fearing the backlash.
Aging and Giving Zero Fucks — Jamie Lee Curtis Shows Us How It's Done
Finally, a big shoutout to Jamie Lee Curtis. Between Covid and turning 65, she moved into some other realm. Not only has she gifted us with an extraordinary roster of characters, from Donna Berzatto in The Bear to the hands lady in Everything Everywhere All At Once to her latest as Annette in The Last Showgirl, she also loads her social media with praise of other women doing amazing things.
Between taking on more roles at 65 than she did at 35 to posting gym selfies and talking about sobriety and refusing to pretend she's anything other than exactly who she is, Curtis isn’t just sharing her journey—she's another example of giving us all permission to stop contorting ourselves to make others comfortable.
The Power of Refusing Shame
What ties these stories together? It's not just that they're about women refusing to be silenced. It's about women refusing to carry shame that isn't theirs to bear.
Gisèle Pelicot refused to carry the shame of what was done to her. Blake Lively refused to carry the shame of speaking up about harassment. Jamie Lee Curtis refuses to carry the shame of aging in an industry that treats it like a crime.
Shame has always been the weapon used to keep women in line. Don't be too loud, too ambitious, too angry. Don't take up too much space. Don't show your age. Don't tell your stories.
But here's what happens when we refuse shame: We create space for other women to refuse it too. We create cracks in the system. We show what's possible. This is why I write about complex heroines in my Queenpin Chronicles. It's why my new book, Vegas Girls, features women who aren't afraid to break the rules to fight corruption. Because we need these stories. We need to see ourselves reflected in all our complicated, powerful glory. I took Toni Morrison’s words to heart:
If there's a book that you want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it.
A book reco!
I’m thrilled to share this book with you for three reasons: 1, It’s from my friend Kerry Chaput whose social media is all about women making waves. 2, Chasing Eleanor has a new cover! 3, The book features a quote I used in Havana Girls! I won’t say what it is (but I will send a signed copy of Vegas Girls anywhere in the contiguous U.S. if you can guess which one before Havana Girls comes out in June.)
As a young girl, I devoured books about Eleanor Roosevelt. This historical fiction, about another young woman obsessed with Roosevelt, serves up a heartfelt story of the resilience and power we can offer each other. It’s also chock-full of quotes and anecdotes from Roosevelt’s life that are sure to satisfy her fans.
Remember, the choice to speak up, to take up space, to refuse shame that isn't ours – that's not just rebellion for rebellion's sake. It's about creating change that ripples far beyond our own lives.
Stay gloriously ill-behaved.
Just ordered Vegas Girls, will review. Keep it going. Cheering you on, Trish