Notable: Recommended Reads
Half of writing a book is reading other people’s books
The challenges of writing a book are made bearable, in part, through reading other people’s books. Here are books that got me through writing Blissful Thinking: A Memoir of Overcoming the Wellness Revolution (Motina Books, 9/26/23). Please note, this book cooked for ten years so this is but a small sampling.
Far and away the most referred to:
Pema Chödrön’s, When Things Fall Apart
I needed this book for managing the traumas that emerged as I relived certain aspects of my story in order to write it authentically while maintaining a safe distance. My number one recommendation for memoirists is to find a guide that consistently makes sense of the world in a way that brings you comfort. That’s what this book did for me.
A virtuoso at meaningful revelation, I read and re-read this book (and essays and articles and Tiny Beautiful Things), not to imitate but to but to be reminded of this possibility. I have not seen the movie.
I love poetry for its economy, and Oliver for her consistent skill of simplicity. It’s damn hard to write in a clear way without sounding trite or oversimplifying.
Of course I revere her memoirs, The Liars Club and Lit, but this book gave me permission to be more fearless. Reading it prompted a whole talk that I gave a number of times, most unforgettably at the Miami Book Fair.
Alexandra Fuller, Don’t Let’s Go to the Dogs Tonight
The language in this book. So beautiful. I’m including it even though it’s somewhat less luminous since I read a review she wrote of another memoirist’s book. My problem isn’t that she criticized a book, but that the critique didn’t read to me as grounded in the text. I can relate. I stopped writing book reviews for publication after reading a book I found technically excellent but morally repellent; in other words, I hated the narrator.
Straight up self help, an odd collection
My book is determinedly not self-help, yet it would be disingenuous to suggest the genre has never helped me.
Martha Beck, Finding Your Own North Star
In truth, I haven’t looked at this book since the aughts, and yet, it was key to being able to ask why I’d been willing to create the life for my ex-husband that I wanted for myself.
Caroline Myss, Anatomy of the Spirit
Another book I haven’t read since the aughts, this book was key to understanding how my yoga practice was changing my body and later, how I sex enhanced my experience of personal autonomy.
For some reason, I regularly need to remind myself that there’s science behind the body-mind connection, so I’ve turned to this repeatedly.
Books by others in recovery that shined a light
Though my book is not an addiction memoir, the courage these authors have shown in sharing what we don’t normally talk about really paved the way for me to dig ever deeper.
Febos’ experience of making her life a misery and then finding her way out of it resonated with my experience of creating a living hell.
As a fellow teen addict, I related to Khar’s vivid and visceral telling of her climb up and out of the disorder. I am so glad her book is there for other young substance abusers to see how they can change the path they’re on.
Dresner’s raw honesty and humor is a standard bearer. Though are stories are wildly different, we both had the experience of finding ourselves broke and stuck with a hungry ghost of addiction.
And there you have it for now. So many great books to share, I’ll be back with more.
