How Selling Sunset Accidentally Taught Me About Bold Women and Self-Worth (VIDEO)
But don't try this...
Long before Zillow became Millennial porn, I was obsessed with real estate. Maybe it’s because we moved a lot during the 1970s, when interest rates were soaring… really, the fact I know what was happening with interest rates before I was ten and there was no internet? Weird, right?
A lot of kids dream of growing up and getting married. My vision was that I’d have a job that would enable me to buy a place big enough for me and my mom and sister to live. And though I did accomplish that feat by 30, my family never moved in.
For those of you similarly afflicted, my love for “Love It or List It” should come as no surprise—and I fully attribute getting three competing offers on a house I sold during a sluggish real estate market to what I learned about staging by watching. Over the years, as the show became less about the actual work needed to fix houses and more about banter between the hosts and home owners, I lost interest.
I’d heard of “Selling Sunset,” but having already flirted with “Million Dollar Listing” decided that those shows were all personality/no house. No thanks.
Then, in the wake of hurricanes Helene and Milton—separated by two inadequate time for even cleanup weeks—the show caught my eye. The promise of stunning properties in pristine condition was irresistible, and I pressed play.
Jesus Christ, I’m getting dumber as I watch, I’d think, judging the crap out of the realtors as I hit pause and drooled over the homes. Somewhere in season three though, I became FULLY there for the drama when one realtor’s husband took her by surprise and divorced her over a text message. I’ve written a whole book about the trauma a surprise telephone divorce caused me (American Lady Creature: My Change in the Middle East, A Qatar Memoir). Then, as I dialed in, I could—at least in part—relate to each and every woman on that show.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m still noting the lady getting off the private plane and talking about her five-star resort travels as an Eat Pray Love adventure. But hey, at least they’re mentioning books, right? Or am I a traitor to my own beliefs???
Then along comes this clip from Alex Cooper’s podcast Call Her Daddy, and the dam breaks.
When I heard Kamala Harris point out the error in thinking that humility is the greatest virtue, I understood why I was watching this show. And it wasn’t just the pretty pictures. Astute readers may have asked, Season three? Is L.L. sure she wasn’t really into it?
You’re not wrong. And Kamala’s words pulled it all together, because the opposite of humility is not to be full of oneself, but to be bold. What is seeking the world’s most powerful job if not bold? And that is the whole goddamn point of this newsletter.
The women of “Selling Sunset” are unabashedly NOT HUMBLE. So why do I love it but not recommend it? Two words: breathtaking consumerism.
It’s hard to watch an episode then see linemen shoulder-deep in floodwater fixing downed electrical wires and NOT think that something is wrong with the picture. But if my time meditating on dirt floors in ashrams taught me anything, it’s how to be okay with my internal dichotomies. Enjoy the show at your own risk.
Yes, watch!
One show I can wholeheartedly endorse is “Nobody Wants This.” The premise is a lot, a rabbi and a gentile getting together, but I love all the dialogue around sex positivity and spirituality, which mirrors another quest of mine that became a whole book, Blissful Thinking: A Memoir of Overcoming the Wellness Revolution.
The show is well-written, fun, cringey, occasionally profound, and also an amazing vehicle for heaps of character actors I adore. I also love seeing a 40-something Kristen Bell helm a romantic comedy. And it’s full of moments like when Ryann (played by D’Arcy Carden) warns Joanne (Bell’s character) that she better act quickly because she’s only got months before it’s over for her face. It’s hilarious because I’ve had that thought self-directed many times, and to hear it expressed was one of those OMG that’s the part you don’t say out loud moments that this show delivers with regularity.
Now reading
Admittedly, this stack is very personal.
During Milton we absconded to Gainesville, where I took advantage of the chance to check out The Lynx bookstore. Queering the Redneck Riviera is part of my research for Havana Girls, the third book of The Queenpin Chronicles. A deep look at the postwar visibility of gay life and attendant moral panics, it will inform the experiences of Helen, Doris and Archie. I want to be sure the conclusion to the journey that began in book one, Florida Girls, is a good representation of lived experiences.
I’m also curious to see what I learn about the state’s other promotional shenanigans in Selling Vero Beach. (Wait, was that title purchase what prompted “Selling Sunset”—8 seasons in—to suddenly appear on my Netflix feed???) Anyway, I can’t wait to read it and discover new fun stories to weave into book three.
And finally, Say Hello To My Little Friend was recommended when I told a staffer at the store that I was looking for anecdotes about the Trafficantes in Miami and Cuba. It’s for the talk I’m giving next month at the Key West Historical Society—Florida Hustlers, Blue Bloods and Dreamers: The Rise of the Sunshine State Mafia—which is already researched and written but I’m always looking for more fun facts.
Now for YOUR guilty pleasure
-What show do you turn to when the going gets rough that you might otherwise NEVER watch?
-What do you think about Kamala Harris appearing “Call Her Daddy", a podcast about sex positivity?
-Okay, my reason for asking that question is because I couldn’t sandwich in above how CHD apparently lost a bunch of followers for “getting political,” and I fear for listeners to a sex positivity podcast who think they can afford to not be political. How about you?
-What are you reading right now?
XOLL