It’s BnB Season, Do You Know Where Your Rights Are?
CW: Contains strong opinions about lady stuff, from Kate Middleton’s picgate to the platforming of Katie Britt to Barbie’s snub.
It’s been a week for women and it’s only Tuesday.
We’ve known about the Barbie Oscar snub for a while, but just when we’d barely gotten over Katie Britt’s fundie-fueled kitchen table talk, the Oscars hit us in the face and then, wham!, along came that SCANDALOUS pic of Kate Middleton’s, only now she’s suddenly going by Catherine.
(Okay, maybe that name has been trending for a while now, but this non-royals-watcher had to double check to be sure we were talking about the same person and why not Cate? But that’s a non-controversy for another person to tackle.)
I’m struck by how similar this feels to 2007, the moments before the presidential campaign that would eventually pit John McCain against Barack Obama. During that lead up, we were obsessed with two women—Sarah Palin and Hilary Clinton. We did not treat either woman well. The message was, you can be a bitch, or you can be a bimbo. We opted out.
Now here we are, dissecting female role models again. For this exercise, the Kates are the same vision: Be Perfect. For that matter, so is Barbie. The difference in BnB is how the cracks show.
One of Barbie’s themes was that as soon as you start to think critically about life, you can no longer accept the facade of perfection. And it’s always a facade. That message, along with America Ferrera’s speech, hit a nerve. A $1.4 billion nerve. Billion.
This was beautifully encapsulated in the musical performances. In a surprising turn, the film got two noms in this category (but not for Lizzo’s anthem, another snub IMO). Billie Eilish won—and go Billie! Beautiful, poignant song—but these two songs are at the heart of how to win an Oscar: Please men.
Eilish herself is not constructed for the male gaze and she seems refreshingly authentic as a human. But her song, compared to Gosling’s delicious ode to male fragility, is waaaaaay more palatable to men. (Maybe they missed the line “I’m sad again/don’t tell my boyfriend.” Or appreciated it?)
Which brings me to Katie Britt. I quite enjoyed
’s thoughts on that voice (do yourself a favor and listen to her read the piece), but must harp on the fact that fundie is not her actual speaking voice. She picked that sound on purpose (listen to Audie Cornish’s podcast for a clip).I’m going to avoid the temptation of speculating on, well, most everything about her because that is damaging. But for this—if you actually care about families and children, her performance begs credulity. When she pondered aloud the concern that her children will have less freedom than she, I had to wonder what liberties she meant. Bodily autonomy? Education? Literacy? Or was that a veiled threat about their potential inability to tote arms? I still don’t know, because everything else about her vision for women in America was a phantasm.
Like her bizarre riff about Republican support for IVF. Umm. Does she mean those frozen cells must be kept viable ad infinitum so that everyone—with $20,000 to spare—can buy one if they want?
Plus that kitchen. I do hope that bland barren beigescape is not a human living space, but also, really? Was she trying to win an Oscar?
Britt did more for Joe Biden than anyone or thing else could have, and yet, there’s still time. Remember getting out the pantsuits and pussy bows in 2016? This battle is not yet won.
Trump is a disaster for women, but he’s not alone. If we are no better off than our lowest community member, we are Alabama. Not France. The good news is, the dude started a GoFundMe to pay
. That’s also the bad news. Though Trump has only raised $450,000 at last glance, a drop in the $485 million and counting bucket, he has no qualms about asking his supporters to fund his sexual misconduct while he lives in gold-plated splendor. And they’re doing it.Which brings me to Kate Middleton. Can we just leave her alone? It’s hard to need the public and value privacy, but there could not be anything less significant than an obviously photoshopped picture on social media. I’m no Instagram whiz, but isn’t that the entire business model of the Kardashian empire? The most telling aspect of Picgate? They asked Kate to take the fall. And she did. Why? Because people are Very Worried. And by people, I mean everyone chiming in on social media.
But what exactly are we worried about? That she’s in poor health and is covering it up? Well, so? How ‘bout sending a card? The fact we can’t leave her alone reminds me of another tragic royal figure of course, but more to the point, the ways we can work against ourselves even when we don’t want to.
Women are taught and expected to be perfect. Men are taught to be brave. Part of being perfect is applauding the bravery of men, which makes me appreciate Barbie even more.
This is a chance, one of those peak moments, to band together in the fight for equality. I believe we have at least 1.4 billion chances to do it.
All of this!
The Kate Middleton things swings both ways for me. Yes, she's likely seriously ill. I feel for anyone struggling with health issues. Also, her and her extended family's life of leisure is underwritten by the people of the UK. So, what is the balance between a public figure's medical privacy and the right of people financially supporting you and your family's lifestyle to know what is going on? If a person is ill enough to be unable to do the duties that the people of the UK pay taxes to support her in doing her job, does the public have a right to know this? And yes, the Royal Family is absolutely horrible at this. And they always have been. And they will always sacrifice a woman first.